Its been a long time.
I've never forgotten about this blog, i think about it all the time... I'm just so lazy and its a huge pain to post pictures from my phone or whatever and posting them.
The process of taking the picture on my phone then switching it to the laptop then uploading it, THEN writing a story about it loses its charm for me half way. I guess thats the name of the game, it's just so tedious.
But lets try again.
The first thing on my mind is my cat.
here if you don't. Well anyways, she's been missing for 11 days now. She got let outside by mistake and hasn't come home since. She's an indoor cat by the way, so the first day i knew she was outside I was terrified.
I "raised" Emma from a kitten, she was my baby. I skipped school for her and treated her like she was a little baby. She was spoiled. I've never taken care of an animal by myself before, I never understood the bond you build with an animal until I had Emma. She did things that reminded me of myself, it's weird but cute.
I feel angry, sad, confused and whole lot of other things about Emma disappearing. I'd like to think she's close by, but I don't know if she is. I want to feel hopeful, but I don't know if I can when theres no proof of her even being alive. People keep telling me that I should prepare for the worst, and thats not what I want to hear. It makes me mad to think people could be giving up on her and that there would be a point to not try to look for her as hard as the first day. My world revolves around Emma, even if I don't get to see her every day, I think and talk about her all the time.
It's not really sinking in very well, the fact I might never get to see her again. Maybe because I don't live with her so I didn't get to see her everyday anyways. So really nothing seems like it's changed. But theres been a few times while talking with people and they seem to make the possibility so much more real of me not finding her. Not that they're trying to be mean, but everyone knows that we might not ever find her.
I would trade anything to find her again... I'm thinking about spending my days off in the country, sleeping outside trying to find her. I'm starting to get frustrated as the days go by, theres nothing I can do. I can't stop my life, and she's 45 minutes away from me so I can't look for her everyday. But I want to. It feels like she's still here, so it's hard for me to understand why I can't find her. I read somewhere that indoor cats wont come to you if you call them because they're scared. That just makes things even harder. The fact that she could be scared, hurt, hungry, wet, cold or uncomfortable really bothers me considering how protective I am of her.
Anyways, I depressing update but thats the only thing on my mind as of lately so I decided to share.